Flashbacks of what happened in the past ain't a good way to start my morning. But it has to happen. I felt so unsettled, emotions are once again running wild. The room seems to be colder, air seems to be denser, or was it the psychological effects that caused me to have this stifling feeling. My breathing becomes more heavy, my heart is beating somewhat faster. How should i cope with this? Am i deserving to receive this kind of treatment? Probably i am! For a moment, the floodgate of questions started pouring in.
Why do i have to go through all this? Just because life is unfair? I just want to be happy, why can things be so dramatically wrong. After every setbacks, there are only two possible outcomes, either you pull yourself together and be strong or you sink deeper into your fears. I cannot afford to sink again. A ship that is rebuild from broken pieces is ever more fragile then it made its maiden journey. I just need to take care of my own feelings. I need to find a place that can calm my soul and get in touch with my true self.
At certain point in life, matters can be so complicated. Just hope that matters will not go out of hand.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Against all odds
060110 will be the day to remember for the rest of my life...
On that faithful day at 11pm, I hugged u in my arms and asked you to be my girlfriend. We are finally back together after one month of separation...
I'm lost for words baby. I thought i've lost you, but u came back. You gave our relationship the strong to carry on. Let us continue our life journey from this moment onwards and find back the lost feelings and rekindle the chemistry back again. I want to do so many things with you. Saying is easy.. but i will make my action count :) You too my dear.. must jia you ok!! It always takes two hands to clap which very much applies to our relationship too. Muacks!! It will be tough on you for the next couple of days, and i felt so useless everytime when i look at you, feeling so listless. I wished that i could do more, but i really dunno how. If u need time for yourself, do let me know.
Dear Dear~
I love you with all my heart and soul. Let us overcome all odds and walk the journey together <3
Forever loving you sweetheart.
On that faithful day at 11pm, I hugged u in my arms and asked you to be my girlfriend. We are finally back together after one month of separation...
I'm lost for words baby. I thought i've lost you, but u came back. You gave our relationship the strong to carry on. Let us continue our life journey from this moment onwards and find back the lost feelings and rekindle the chemistry back again. I want to do so many things with you. Saying is easy.. but i will make my action count :) You too my dear.. must jia you ok!! It always takes two hands to clap which very much applies to our relationship too. Muacks!! It will be tough on you for the next couple of days, and i felt so useless everytime when i look at you, feeling so listless. I wished that i could do more, but i really dunno how. If u need time for yourself, do let me know.
Dear Dear~
I love you with all my heart and soul. Let us overcome all odds and walk the journey together <3
Forever loving you sweetheart.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Of the unexpected events in life
Life is never certain... I've learnt my lesson... the hard way. I realised that for the past weeks, i have been bottling tons of feelings and emotions in myself. It was that bad till the extent that i felt this unusual pain from my heart. I hope it's not something serious... Since my last visit to the school's counsellor, I suspect myself of having this mild depression. The symptons of depression seems to apply to me in almost every aspect.
"Depression is an emotional disorder which can result in fatigue, a loss of interest in life, insomnia or hypersomnia, a disturbance of appetite and an inability to work and function normally in everyday life. There are certain less common forms of severe depression which fall in the category of psychosis"
I don't know when it started but at certain stage of my life, i find that there is nothing to look forward in life. The constant fatigue and the inability to concentrate had affected my studies, my relationship with my girlfriend and my social network of friends. I want to break out of this.. I want to be healthy, i want to happy, i want to enjoy my everyday, i want to contribute to the society, i want to be useful... I'm trying to embark on this recovery journey myself, it's going to be tough but as long as i can make the change, i am able to break free from this dull period of my life. I need a daily schedule, i need to meet up with more friends, i need to source for a job, i need to make my day fruitful.
Having said all that. I need to first define my goals. Let's start with the short term goals first.
1) Improve my stamina and runnning timing. ( Min 3 runs a week, distance approx 3km )
2) Work on improving my memory skills
3) Pick up the habit of reading
4) Work on my critical thinking skills
5) Conform to a 7 hours sleeping habit
6) Post daily reflection
7) Learn to pay attention to details
8) Drink more water
9) Improve my skin conditions
10) Smile more often
11) Not to stay at home so often
12) Release all the negative thoughts
My short term goals seems good and ready to be implemented! Let's do it. There are so many things to look forward in life. Be happy. Live Happy. Start Happy. At the same time, i need to get in touch with my inner self, to really identify what i enjoy doing in life.
"Whatever happens, happens for a reason"
the topic will be continue in the next blog post... till then
"Depression is an emotional disorder which can result in fatigue, a loss of interest in life, insomnia or hypersomnia, a disturbance of appetite and an inability to work and function normally in everyday life. There are certain less common forms of severe depression which fall in the category of psychosis"
I don't know when it started but at certain stage of my life, i find that there is nothing to look forward in life. The constant fatigue and the inability to concentrate had affected my studies, my relationship with my girlfriend and my social network of friends. I want to break out of this.. I want to be healthy, i want to happy, i want to enjoy my everyday, i want to contribute to the society, i want to be useful... I'm trying to embark on this recovery journey myself, it's going to be tough but as long as i can make the change, i am able to break free from this dull period of my life. I need a daily schedule, i need to meet up with more friends, i need to source for a job, i need to make my day fruitful.
Having said all that. I need to first define my goals. Let's start with the short term goals first.
1) Improve my stamina and runnning timing. ( Min 3 runs a week, distance approx 3km )
2) Work on improving my memory skills
3) Pick up the habit of reading
4) Work on my critical thinking skills
5) Conform to a 7 hours sleeping habit
6) Post daily reflection
7) Learn to pay attention to details
8) Drink more water
9) Improve my skin conditions
10) Smile more often
11) Not to stay at home so often
12) Release all the negative thoughts
My short term goals seems good and ready to be implemented! Let's do it. There are so many things to look forward in life. Be happy. Live Happy. Start Happy. At the same time, i need to get in touch with my inner self, to really identify what i enjoy doing in life.
"Whatever happens, happens for a reason"
the topic will be continue in the next blog post... till then
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